I swear to you--ever since I became a big cheese attorney, my email inbox has become the target of numerous sex themed spams. I think that spammers cruise our very public Oregon State Bar e-mail lists. But nothing compares to the amount of junk mail I get from our Relief Society.
Last week, our RSP thought it necessary to e-mail us about her 6 year old daughter's pageant fundraiser. First of all. Ewww. Second. NO.
Today I was sent an unsolicited recipe for "decident french toast." I wonder what that's like? It's just one letter away from decedent french toast--which might be right up my estate planning alley.
Then there's the issue of some (to me unknown) sister's "suprize" birthday party and its reply-all progeny.
Forward e-mails from the Oregon Department of Human services are particularly telling. If you're on DHS's list for parenting classes...well...maybe you shouldn't be advertising the fact. That's all I'm sayin.
Then several times weekly I'll get information about fun things to do with my non-existent children. Take them to a basketball game! Why not go horseback riding? In...January...
I think my favorites are the "WARNING! NEW VIRUS TARGETS STUPID PEOPLE WHO OPEN ATTACHMENTS" e-mails that are so common among the group. If we don't forward it to 10 of our friends their hard drive failures will be on our conscience. The e-mail ends with, I kid you not, "DON'T TRY TO PRINT THIS. It triggers the virus!"
"Furnature needed"
WHO WANTS TO SEE WICKED?
Time Out for Women.
...I worry what will come next.
Fortunately, dear readers, no one who reads this blog attends my ward. I have no friends in my relief society because we are forbidden to speak to one another during the prelude music (a story for another day). I couldn't tell you the name of a single woman besides the Relief Society President.
And that's only because her name shows up in my inbox daily.
5 comments:
I thought stake RS pres was an unnecessary calling. Now I see it could have value. Can you tip her off to what is going on?
You are so very fortunate. I am really glad I did not buy a house in that ward. Yikes.
By the way, I watched as Maret looked up each example in her in-box before including it in the post. These are not made or exaggerated. And there were many more.
BAHAHAHA.
Our RS secretary must have been in a ward like that previously, because when we moved here, she asked me for my email address and specified that she would never share it with anyone, would always bcc everyone, and would never send more than one email per week and only with church information.
At the time, I thought it was overkill, but now, I see the wisdom.
I triple-dog dare you to abuse the crap out of the reply all. Create your own fake email forward ABOUT THE DANGERS OF EMAIL FORWARDS. I'm drafting one in my head already...
I thought I had already commented on this, but as I have not, I need to add how hilarious and inappropriate it is to send mass emails of this nature to the entire Relief Society. Soon she's going to start offering you a business proposition you can't refuse.
Good luck and be of good cheer! At very least, you could shuffle her emails to the spam folder and peruse them at your leisure without them clogging your inbox.
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