Annual Predictions

In my family we don't do resolutions--we do predictions for the coming year. Our previous predictions were two years old, but some were fun. For example, in 2008:

Logan predicted that I would convince the family to go into a crazy business deal. This I did as part of their estate planning. And it's not crazy. It's sane. (And yes, I have obtained client permission to talk about their estate plans. They want me to be able to brag about what I have done.)

Sister 1 predicted one of Logan's sisters would become engaged. This, sadly, did not happen. We were really holding out for German boy in hopes that we could have free lodging in Europe somewhere.

My dad predicted that Logan would find some career/educational pursuit he likes better than architecture. It was unlikely then, and needless to say, did not happen. Logan is obsessed.

Lawyer that I am, I was the only one who predicted that my parents case would not be done by the next year. They emphatically disagreed, but who triumphed in the end? Me. That's right. Don't forget that family predictions are a time to say "BOOYAH" and rub it in against the rest of the suckers.

Prediction time is also about faithfully transcribing the proceedings. The transcription job goes to me, and I get to record such hilarity as this: Sister 1 predicted there would be some "bedroom action." After we erupted in laughter, she clarified that she meant we would begin construction on the bedroom.

And then there was this: Dad predicted in saccharine tones that in 2009 we will all b e loving and kind and thoughtful to one another. Mom quickly piped in " Then on January 1, 2010 our TRUE thoughts will conquer!"

Here's some predictions for 2011:

Maret will get pregnant. Might I point out that they've been making this one every year since I was married?

When flaky Uncle backed out of Christmas, we predicted that we would open all of his presents. Which we did. Which was awesome.

We predicted my energetic grandpa would retire then hate it so much he'll invent projects.

Sister 2 predicted that Lil' Bro will use his air horn to wake us up.

Dad: TSA patdowns will become more popular *wink*

Sister 1: "Mullets will come back in style."
Me: "Only if the tea party gains power."

Dad: my two sisters will open up a spa together.
Sister 1: "Sister 2 is too much of a pain."
Sister 2: "I don't like to work with. . . family member." (Note the lack of "s")


Ahhh the magic moments of family togetherness. I often contemplate how happy I am that we're an irreverent, sarcastic, and silly bunch.