Someone who identified herself as being from our ward left a message on Logan's cell. She asked for "Mahret" to give her a call back because her son would like to go to law school and she was hoping I could come to dinner with them to tell him how to prepare. However entertaining (and let's be honest, charitable) it would be to crush this young man's hopes and dreams of power/success/money, I have several problems with this call.
First, she pronounced my name incorrectly, and I don't recognize hers. I don't know this person, and she doesn't know me. Second, if her SON wants to go to law school, why doesn't her SON call me? Is mommy planning on doing his applications for him as well? I would totally understand if a friend or even an acquaintance called and said, "Hey, my nephew wants to go to law school. Would you mind if he called you?" At that, if a total stranger called me and said "Hey, I'm so and so and my mom is in the Relief Society with you, could we talk a minute about law school?" I would be happy to. But having your mom call to arrange a meeting is beyond awkward.
The call also reminded me of the ridiculous over-pampering of young Mormon boys by their mothers (who are probably just really bored). So many Mormon boys (but not all) do not know how to cook, clean, change a diaper, or do much of anything for themselves. My hubberluvikin's was raised by the strong, smart, ever-competent Carla. And while she DID pack his lunches for him (an ongoing joke of resentment on my part), at least he can operate the washer and dryer. The example for so many (but, of course, not all) Mormon boys is that, as men, they will get a job, do whatever a boss tells them, then go home to a clean house and dinner on the table. I would hate to do anything to perpetuate this 1950's fantasy. It produces jerks who tell female law students to "go home." Yes. Really. This happened in 2010.
I don't know, maybe I'm being too harsh on the caller, but it was mildly irritating. Plus, I don't have very good things to say about the topic. I generally think of post-2009 law applicants as a bunch of idiots. Don't they read the news? Haven't they seen the damage the profession has suffered? I like to give myself a pass because the year I applied, firms were still hiring. The housing market was still booming and the financial meltdown hadn't even begun to light the horizon. But this year's 1Ls and 2Ls have got to be out of their effing minds. And the freaking ABA keeps accrediting law schools despite the fact that the market can't bear one. more. lawyer.
But, I have to give the lady some credit. She called a female attorney. I can't tell you how many times prospective law students, seeking advice, dismissed me in favor of male lawyers or male law students. Maybe she was just excited to hear that her son has decided on one of the seven appropriate professions for a young Mormon boy, and she just HAD to go out and call someone.
One thing is for certain: if I do talk to this guy it won't be at a family dinner. It will be one on one with a heavy dose of reality.
4 comments:
OOOh seven appropriate professions! Let's name them! In no particular order of appropriateness.
1. Doctor
2. Lawyer
3. Dentist
4. Orthodontist
5. Man of Business
6. I'm going to say Accountant though you can disagree. Hubbermachobunnikins' firm has at least 10 LDS accountants at it. Its much lower prestige than the other five.
7. But what is the elusive number seven? Contractor as long as it means building McDevelopments? NO. Working for the Church. Gunning to be in CES. Also much lower prestige in some way (no way to keep up with the Joneses) but much higher in the self-righetous way.
-Work in Government if you live in the right part of the country is fine.
Here are some jobs you likely will not find an LDS man being crowned with glory for pursuing:
-Anything too outdoorsy and hippie-dippy, like a park ranger
-Anything perceived as feminine, like nursing, being a chef or teaching.
-Anything that values the pursuit of knowledge over cold, hard cash (anything in academia that doesn't lead you straight to being an Astronaut. Being a librarian or as previously stated, teaching are right out).
-Anything that just plain seems weird for a mormon, like architecture. Those guys always have beards too.
How many times do I have to tell bright-eyed aspiring attorneys to forget law school? I've probably told ten people to run away screaming. Do they listen to me? Never. Why do they even bother asking if they should go, when they clearly have already made up their minds to go, and no amount of reality checking on my part will sway them from an idiotic and potentially fiscally disastrous decision?
But anyway, it's weird to have someone's mom call you in this kind of situation. Unless I knew the family pretty well, I would just ignore this kind of request until the kid grows some cajones.
As a Mormon boy married to a lovely feminist & current grad-school student, I can honestly say that one thing that undoubtedly helped me win her heart was my ability to cook, clean and generally take care of myself without the help of my parents.
In fact, when we got married, I was 27 and had not lived with my parents in almost 10 years.
My mom stopped making my lunch in probably the 3rd grade and stopped doing my laundry by the time I was 10 years old. She just expected more from me because I was her son and she wanted me to be independent. I will always love my mom... but I'm not a "momma's boy" in any sense of the word. It was always hilarious to watch fellow missionaries in the field who couldn't do simple things like make scrambled eggs or spaghetti. WTF?
Bless her heart... she raised me well, but never pampered me (she cleaned office buildings at night to earn extra income when I was a kid and brought me along because I would literally work beside her vacuuming, emptying trash cans, washing dishes and cleaning windows... all for the payment of a free can of 7UP, not money). I know my wife appreciates that when she comes home from a long day at school or work, I always greet her with a cooked meal (or the ability to provide her food in a timely manner upon her request). After all... she married a man who believes that each partner in a marriage should bring their very best talents to the relationship, archaic gender roles be damned.
As for this kid, I would tell his mom, "I'd be happy to talk to your son, but he needs to call me himself if he wants to be taken seriously."
Word to your mother.
This post made me rage, cackle, and wonder why we weren't hangout friends in law school. Hmm???
Did you call this lady back??? In my dreams, your response is something like this:
"Sure. Feel free to have him call me and we'll get coffee or something."
BAHAHA! Then, not only do you get the it's-his-deal-so-he-should-make-the-call dig in but you also scandalize...it's like leaking something to the media. Then you count to ten slowly as the rumor spreads about Mahret.
And, Mhana, may I suggest that number 7 is just general corporate bastardry? I know that's sort of like number 5 but with a little more oomph.
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