I should really just program the ward list into my phone and screen my calls. No one ever calls to invite us to dinner or to ask us how we're doing. I only recieve calls from church and churchy people when they want something from me. One person called to ask if we had BYU-OSU tickets. Anyone who knows us well enough to ask for game tickets would know that WE DON'T GIVE A FIG ABOUT FOOTBALL! Much less our two least favorite schools. In a fight to the death between BYU and OSU, I'm not sure I could possibly care who wins.
So it was yesterday when I received a call to make dinner for someone. The caller knew that I work during the day. She called during work and kept me on the phone for 5 minutes longer than I had after I had already agreed to do her bidding. AFTER agreeing, she started laying on the contingencies: "They want dinner by 4:00." Oh do they? That's special. So today I'm taking time off that I don't have to make a dinner for someone who, oh by the way, needs it for "Three adults because their mom is helping them."
Okaaaaay. As I think back to the number of times I have never requested dinner service when I probably could have, I always thought, I have family nearby. I don't need to burden the ward members with this. With the help of my trusty mom in law, I'll pull through. So I'm finding myself becoming less and less charitable by the minute when Sister So and So adds that "they're lactose intolerant." BUY SOME EFFING LACTASE!!
But I hold my tongue. I don't know these people. Maybe they really do need dinner by 4 and maybe their mom can't possibly heat up some canned soup and maybe lactase doesn't work for them. So I look at my meal plan and decide that minestrone is the most easily adopted candidate. I'll just leave out the cheese.
So here I am in my kitchen waiting for a vat of veggies and broth to boil, when I begin to worry: what if they don't like vegetables? They have kids. What if the kids snub their noses and hate me. What if they just THROW IT OUT? I made that chicken broth from scratch. I cultivated my own herbs. I've lovingly grown these veggies from seedlings. I've fertilized, watered, pruned, weeded, and finally harvested this bounty for superior tasting food. The thought of it being thrown out because--oh God forbid! it contains mushrooms, makes me cry.
I've never received meals myself, but my acquaintances who have typically have a laundry list of complaints about their freeloading. Some people have an idea that there are commonly disliked foods and stand aghast that anyone would bring such foods to someone in need. Spinach, mushrooms, beef, melons--you would think that people were pushing snails and fois gras for dinner. What these people don't understand is that meal-givers aren't going to make an extra shopping trip for you to find the most boring, widely accepted food available. No. They, like me, planned to have minestrone, decided to adapt the minestrone to not include Parmesan, and then stretched that recipe as far as it would go. EXCUSE US.
I've also heard such things as "I can't believe anyone would give ONIONS to a post-partum woman." (Is this some faux-pas I'm not aware of?) And "Why didn't they think of my kids? Kids don't like x, y, or z." (How am I supposed to know what your snot-nosed kids hate?). Not only do Mormons complain about the offerings-- "No meat!?" "Great! More carbs and cream!" But the quality is frequently ridiculed. "Ugh! Another soggy casserole!"
So I'm done. After tonight, when the mom, husband, wife, and kids accept my absolutely killer minestrone completely unaware at that it was nearly 6 months in the making (between the broth and veggies), and then probably throw it out because tomatoes are gross or something, I quit. I'll bring meals for friends, but that's it.
10 comments:
Dang, you must have really picky people in your ward. I always get asked to take meals to people, which is funny because I'm one of maybe four other ladies in my ward that actually work, everyone else stays home, AND I don't live close to anyone. I always have to leave work early, but so far, they've all seemed really grateful...maybe behind my back they don't like my food, who knows? I just consider it bonus righteous points for me and hope God forgives me for not being charitable any other way besides in the kitchen.
The last time I was asked to bring someone a meal, I brought them a Stouffer's frozen lasagna. At least I cooked it first.
I'm with you, though. I've never asked anyone to help me with a meal... but, if someone ever brought me something, I wouldn't complain (at least, never to their face!).
Don't assume they'll hate your minestrone. I would LOVE your minestrone. Hint. So if every you have a vat of delicious soup and a rainy day, you know who to call. It would fill me with glee AND I will bring my own lactase or at least apologize for how terrible I and your bathroom will smell afterward. The only meal I ever received was an enormous salad, which my VT brought by unannounced because she worried that I didn't take care of myself and was not receiving sufficient green nutrients. I was not offended, I was thrilled. She also brought me her homemade aromatherapy spritzs (we live in Eugene, can you tell...) which I will admit I did not use but was still effusively grateful for. I am not much of a scent person. But the food! I ate the salad for days!
Also, I vote you stop leaving work early. Tell the woman you have a job, and that you could make something for tomorrow which they can heat themselves, or you could help on the weekends. It isn't reasonable that you leave work just to cook a meal.
Picky eaters are intolerable. Casseroles ARE a little iffy sometimes, but I like chicken and rice. Cream of chicken soup isn't the anti-Christ.
People should be gracious. My mom made meals for us when she was here after Eli was born. It wouldn't have made sense for someone to bring us dinner. And my husband isn't helpless. He made us big batches of curry that we are for days.
I like the idea of bringing meals for people in theory. I don't even mind the idea of feeding the missionaries until I hear stories of the local missionaries turning up their noses at good food or demanding a mom with a newborn deliver dinner to their house across town.
Anyway, I get it. Godspeed. Your minestrone sounds orgasmic.
Ship some of that stuff my way. We are two starving students who eat canned minestrone on a daily basis. When Trevor and I are asked to do things we don't particularly want to we just remind each other over and over "Blessings...right? Yeah...if we do this we get blessings, I think." It sounds terrible but it gets me through some "special assignments". I'm only it in for myself. Ha!I better go repent for that last statement.
Amen to all of it. After the last time I was asked to make dinner for someone and their 24-year-old son answered the door (who I later found out lives at home and could have easily made dinner for his younger siblings), I decided I am no longer making any special effort in the meal department. I can be charitable, but I have my limits.
Bummer that you have had rotten experiences with dinner. I've been on both ends of the spectrum and maybe I'm just lucky but I've always gotten wonderful food. No one has ever complained about what I brought them, at least not that I heard. I did have a sister once who had a huge list of things she couldn't/wouldn't eat and food had to be brought to her in ceramic dishes only - no plastic. So I just didn't bring her anything and left that one to the more charitable sisters. I do find it a little weird in our ward that they call you and ask you to bring dinner. You can't say no without sounding rude. When I had my baby they called and asked me who I wanted to bring me dinner. It was really awkward and I had newborn brain, so I gave the names of my visiting teachers. In our old ward they sent out an email asking for volunteers and it was so successful that often the slots were filled before I could get to it. If I were in charge I would do it that way, but I'll only say that here because in no way do I want to be called as the next compassionate service leader.
Sorry to hear about your lame experience. When we were on the receiving end of these meals about a year ago when the little guy joined us, there were three adults but we still really appreciated the help. I was working off and on as much as I could, the missus, having been through a c-section, wasn't eager to cook, and my mother-in-law was filling in gaps as she could. We were all very sleep deprived and tired. The meals were a big help to us.
That said, some of them were overly elaborate. My favorite meal of the week - honestly - was a huge Tupperware of spaghetti, sauce, and a little bit of meat. It was simple, hardy, easy to store and reheat, and was exactly what I wanted: comfort food. I didn't feel the least bit guilty to accept a meal that was cheap, easy, and had only taken a few minutes to put together. (If memory serves, the desert was a pack of Oreos - not haute cuisine, to be sure, but it sure hit the spot.)
The next time we,re called in to help with meals, I think we'll take the same direction. Simple, filling, and cheap. Comfort foods, nothing fancy.
I have also been on both ends of this and, as you know, I have a ridiculous medically-restricted diet. That said, even with all of my insane restrictions, I could absolutely eat minestrone. In fact, it would be perfect.
After my gall bladder surgery, the ladies in my ward were asked to help out with meals, on a pre-planned sign-up sheet, and my restrictions were explained to them BEFORE the list went around: No starch, no red meat, no cheese, no raw veg. Good luck. :) I think I only got one meal which I had to toss: Mac and cheese with bread slices on the side. But I was very appreciative to her face. :)
Post a Comment