The Realistic Plastic Beetle

There was a game my family used to play. It didn't have a name, and no one really knows how it started except that there was a realistic beetle:



Kinda like this one only out of the packaging. Here's how it goes: someone puts the realistic plastic beetle under the cottage cheese container in the refrigerator one day. Whoever removes the cottage cheese for a mid-day snack would scream, do a freak out dance, and then laugh, realizing it was a plastic beetle. It was then the victim's distinct privilege to re-hide the beetle. Perhaps in a seldom-used pot or in the middle of a jar of Pringles. The thing about the beetle was that it was so realistic and so unexpected that it never stopped being pee-your-pants scary. Plus, since it was always hidden in the kitchen, the chills and squirming about bugs in your food never ceased to entertain. Because it could sometimes takes weeks or months for the next person to find the hidden beetle, that person you scared often ended up being yourself.

Anyway, the game died when someone hid it too well. Maybe it ended up in a box of crackers that got stale (as crackers in Oregon are wont to do) and it was thrown away. Maybe it's under a jar of peaches so old they're browning. I don't know, all I know is that this week I got a bit nostalgic for a realistic plastic beetle. If you find one--don't let me know. Just leave it somewhere in my kitchen.