We have made it back to our Oregon embassy and consider ourselves officially home. Our renters weren't the WORST ever, but I did find sunflower seeds next to the hopelessly stained toilet upstairs. It is clear that upstairs renter lived on the toilet and didn't bother cleaning it once all summer long. Downstairs renter hid our pillows in the most unlikely of places, but was otherwise clean. As a show of goodwill and laziness, they left us Velveeta Shells and Cooler Ranch Doritos--neither of which my home had ever seen before. Lover ate the shells yesterday and has been suffering from dysentery ever since. It is fortunate that we have recently rediscovered the timeless classic of our youth, "Diarrhea, diarrhea."
When your renters leave some food
And you eat it 'cause they're rude,
Diarrhea,
Diarrhea.
When you're sitting down to pee,
And sunflower seeds you see
Diarrhea,
Diarrhea.
When you're eating mac and cheese
And it passes through with ease,
Diarrhea,
Diarrhea.
Please comment with your own diarrhea diddy. Occupational/school-related diarrhea works well, or you can add to my own story.
1 comment:
When your stress is really high
And you wish that you could die
Diarrhea. Diarrhea.
When you're sitting bored in church
And your stomach starts to lurch
Diarrhea. Diarrhea.
When you might have IBS
And your trousers are a mess
Diarrhea. Diarrhea.
I miss you guys, I'm sorry it didn't work out that last week. I hope you're back to your cheerful selves now that you're in zion!
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