Help, dear readers! Kettle Chips decided to discontinue Cheddar Beer* chips DESPITE the fact that it won awards, is clearly the tastiest product they've ever made, and without even consulting me. I have spoken before about these mouthwatering morsels from heaven, but to be clear: They are THE best food product ever constructed by man. I don't even like chips but these are amazing. If you have not yet tried them, your tastebuds have been cheated out of an experience.
Readers, if you love me even a little bit I beg you to write Kettle and tell them they've made a tiny huge mistake. Tell them you wish you had a chance to try them. Tell them that your friend is a bit unstable and that without regular Cheddar Beer Chip infusions she may become hostile or loopy. Tell them that when you took the Which Chip are You? test, your results said "Cheddar Beer" and that discontinuing them would really be like losing part of your identity.
And please, if you see them anywhere buy all you can, and I promise to pay you back + shipping and handling.
*Disclaimer: Cheddar Beer chips contain no alcohol whatsoever. If you for a moment questioned whether or not this was so, you need to go back to Chemistry 101. The thing that gives them their distinct flavor is dried beer solids--barley malt, hops, and yeast. When combined with cheddar and bleu cheeses, salt, evaporated cane juice, sweet whey, butter, buttermilk, white pepper, and paprika, you've got one amazing chip on your hands.
3 comments:
Done!
Well, I have never tried them- but out of love...here is what I submitted:
I was a bit devestated when I heard that you were discontinuing the cheddar beer chip. I normally can't stand chips, but this, little miracle of modern science can hardly be called a chip, rather a taste of heaven on earth.
How, with any level of human decency in this world of dispair, financial instability, prejudice, and age of litigation, can one company with the key to softening hearts, lifting spirits after a long day, deny us this joy?
I do not think that you want to do that! You are Kettle! You stand for something a little better, a pice of releif at the end of a hard day, a smile from a child who's parents come home from work with a little present, a bag of pure cheddar beer joy.
Continue doing what you do best, lift and comformt with your flavor rich cheddar beer chip!
Hello Bianca:
Thank you for taking the time to contact us. We are very happy to hear you enjoy Kettle Brand® products! I am sorry to say that the product you mentioned, Cheddar Beer, has been discontinued. It just wasn’t a big hit with consumers. I will pass on your comments to our staff, however. We do not have any bags left.
We do have some new products that you might enjoy! Check out our web store at www.buykettlechips.com to see what is available. Our new Kettle Brand® Sweet Onion and Kettle Brand® Baked Sea Salt and Vinegar are available on the web store!! Also, ask your store managers to get your favorites in!
Thanks again,
Janet Wilson
Consumer Affairs
Kettle Foods
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