Wait? Men get to have the priesthood entirely through their own actions, but as a woman I only get to enjoy the pseudo-equivalent if I can get some guy AND my body to cooperate in the process (or adopt)? So the church came up with a great solution: ALL women are mothers! I'm sure this sentiment comforts some women, but it's not really working for me.
That said, father's day is great fun because I get to gender-bend the rhetoric and celebrate Logan's "father heart" and tell all the men I meet that they are fathers. Also, we get to celebrate Gramps, Poppa, vonKarlo and Rexius. Great (real) fathers, all.
So here are some other, even more fake holidays we celebrate. I'm lucky to have friends and family willing to go along with these:
Captian Picard Day
Are you aware that in about 360 years in the future, children aboard the Starship Enterprise will celebrate Captain Picard Day? Future yesterday, in fact! So last night my family gathered to celebrate. Festivities included an overuse of the phrases, "Make it so," "Number One," and "Tea. Earl grey. Hot." Like the children, we created a Captain Picard likeness--which involved Logan dressing up in his Star Trek shirt. We of course had to watch The Pegasus (the episode first featuring Captain Picard day) and finally watching Starship Mine--one of the best Picard episodes, where he single-handedly fights off terrorists on a completely abandoned ship. Also this is the episode where Data learns small talk. Observe: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGw4pxQQdz8&feature=related
Harry Potter's Birthday
If we're not above celebrating a made-up holiday in honor of Picard, you can bet we're down with celebrating the birthday of everyone's least favorite Harry Potter character--Harry Potter himself! Since his birthday falls in the middle of summer we celebrate in true Harry Potter fashion, by first being angst-ridden that none of our friends have written us while we've been stuck at the Dursleys. Then we throw ol'Harry a bone and actually have cake and ice cream. Not so much for his sake, as ours. If you happen to have a cache of Harry Potter themed sprinkles to decorate the cake with, so much the better.
Festivus--For the Rest of Us
From the Seinfeld episode, The Strike comes my very favorite fake holiday, Festivus, celebrated on December 23rd. Festivus removes all the commercial and religious aspects of Christmas. Instead of a tree, there is a Festivus pole--no tinsel, because it is distracting. Traditions include the Feats of Strength and the Airing of Grievances--you gather your family around you and let them know all the ways in which they have disappointed you over the last year. Observation of Festivus miracles involves attributing actions of others as miraculous and surprising occurring due to Festivus magic. You know what, just check it out: Festivus.
Pi Day and Mole Day
These science themed holidays aren't really fake, are they? Because I've been celebrating since Junior year of high school. Pi Day is on March 14th, and involves eating pie and reciting Pi to the enth digit. If you're involved or know someone in the Pi Beta Phi sorority, the celebrations get a lot more interesting. And of course, Mole Day is on October 24th. Fun fact: Two guys I dated were born on Mole day, as is a dear friend from singles ward. Mole Day is celebrated by eating a mole of something.
4 comments:
I've always been a fan of Wintereenmas, the annual gamers holiday. The holiday was invented by Ethan, main character of the video-game-themed webcomic, Ctrl-Alt-Delete to celebrate the community gamers and the games they play. The holiday, or more accurately holiweek, lasts for the entire last week of January. One celebrates by, you guessed it, playing games, especially social games. There are wintereenmas tournaments and LAN Parties, and some gamers even take that time to write letters to their favorite game developers to thank them for being so awesome.
I know it's intended as a jab, I get that. But I'm 100% OK with the idea of the Church pushing an "all men are fathers" idea. As someone who grew up in the Church without my own biological father (and whose presence was inevitably destructive when he was in my life for brief moments), the men of the Church were fathers to me. They were newlywed young scout leaders, older established businessmen, professors, lawyers, mechanics, programmers, retired, disabled - they were the men who made me who I am today. And many of them didn't have kids of their own. Without their influence, I absolutely wouldn't be in the place I am. They pushed me and made me better, and I am forever in their debt.
I will admit that when I gave the closing prayer in Sunday School I thanked Heavenly Father for all the fathers, including those who were not fathers on this earth. Only later did it occur to me that the only man in the ward that I know for sure that describes is my husband. Well I'm thankful! I snagged him an extra chocolate for his fathering heart, only to find out that when he tried to get one himself, the girls distributing sharply told him HE isn't a dad. Yep. We know girls. Evidently they need the training not to deliberately offend the childless. Of course later I found out he snarfled FOUR chocolates on mother's day and I only got ONE. I have two ovaries! I should have gotten at least one of those!
Another fun holiday is May 4 -- May the Fourth be With you day. And then there is celebrating holidays that aren't really relevant in this country, like my annual honoring of Bastille Day.
In a few days, we will celebrate Midsummer's Eve, aka the summer solstice. Festivities shall commence with adorning floral wreaths (and little else), building a fire (unless you live in wildfire territory), and dancing around it wildly.
Whether or not to join the Midsummer's orgies is up to you!
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