Name of the Game

My dear friend Mhana has a series of blog entires about the foolish games she plays with her friends and family. When I was in Oregon, it was all we could do to sit though sacrament meeting without playing "Which member of the bishopric would you eat" or "Cast that Musical with members of the congregation." Then of course there was Careening to Conclusions and Sweeping Generalizations. I missed these games.

Fortunately as I took a deep assessment of life whilst cleaning the kitchen, Lover said something that reminded me of the games I have made in Mhana's absence.

1. Yes... A Desperate Housewives Game
This goal of this game is to create a closing line befitting of everyone's favorite dramady, Desperate housewives. Most every closing line begins with the disembodied voice of deceased housewife, Mary Alice Young saying "Yes..." It is then followed with a broad statement or generalization, followed by vignettes of the characters as examples of the statement, followed by a shocking counterexample or touching conclusion. To be a high-scoring "Yes" it must begin when an unwitting person says "Yes" with a pause, have hilarious examples, and a silly conclusion. It should also employ as many Desperate Housewives cliches as possible--"Yes" being the most obvious, "still others ____" is popular, as is "but what she didn't know was ____"

It would be difficult to give examples as they are all so reliant on context, but if I start saying "Yes, Mhana did like baking pies..." in a mysterious voice, you'll know what I'm getting at.

2. Negative Campaigning
This one is mostly used for my mom because she's a state legislator, but it may be used against anyone hoping to preserve a public image. Every time mom says something that would sound horrible out of context we take her words and create a negative campaign ad against her. The key to success in this game is in employing a harsh, smarmy vocal affect in your narration and describing the visual aspects of the commercial. Let's say for example that my mom wouldn't let my little brother KJ read (because he needed to brush his teeth).

"Kim Thatcher HATES reading" *color photograph of mom fades to black and white as the audio recording of her saying "no you can't read!" plays. *Picture of sad KJ with narration "Kim Thatcher won't even let this little boy read because she hates children, too. So what does Kim Thatcher like?" *badly photoshopped picture of mom with Sarah Palin* "Sarah Palin--and we all know she hates books too. Don't vote Kim Thatcher. Sponsored by The Children's Library of America."

3. Anticipated Responses
This is one Logan and I play when far from friends and family--who needs them when you can adeptly anticipate their response to everyday situations? The goal of this game is to come up with the most accurate impersonation of an absent person's response. Not all people get impersonated. It's usually just Andee, Rex, my dad, my mom, my sisters, Logan's sisters, the Ellisses. The rest of you are just too normal to impersonate. Sorry.

4. Least Appropriate Musical Adaptation
This is one the Ellisses created. The idea is to take a piece of literature or a movie and make a musical adaptation. Our favorite example is: The Hunt for Red October, the musical. With that show stopping ballad, "I wish I had seen Montana." Bonus points for singing the song.