I'm in a funk, friends. And I have no real right to be since I'm on vacation, going to Austin in a couple of days, and just had a lot of fun (despite weirdness described below). Yet I can't seem to shake it. Since the funk seemed to revolve around the ward camp out, I'm going to blame it on that.
Our congregation went camping in an absolutely gorgeous campground owned by the church. It had cute little tent spots nestled in private groves and a lake and a zipline and free wood and bathrooms. This place was awesome, and I only wish it were public lands so I could go back all the time without seeing...
THE SOUR FACED CAMP LADY.
The sour faced camp lady could not have looked less thrilled to be alive if she tried. That is until she saw me holding my baby-faced dog on a leash. "Dogs aren't allowed." Ohhhkay. No dogs at camp? I've never heard anything so absurd. Unsure of what she was expecting me to do about this, I asked her if she would like me to go home and dared her with my eyes to say yes. After spending a full minute considering this, she finally asked "Well what are you going to do with it?"
I had planned on letting her loose to eat small children. Seriously, what do think? She's on a leash. She's sleeping in our tent. You can see that she is well-behaved and gentle by the number of small children draped over her. Unlike humans, she doesn't litter, doesn't make irresponsible fires, and doesn't tax ANY of your facilities. The WORST thing she does is shed, but seeins how we're outdoors and all...
Olive was ultimately allowed to stay, but sister sour faced had put me in a mood. And if you make a move to defend her in the comments by droning about church liability then we're not friends and never were. Let's think for a moment here. Dogs are allowed here: The Great and Spacious Building but not here: The EFFING OUTDOORS.
Then at breakfast,a lady I've NEVER spoken to commented on my pregnancy and had the nerve to ask me, had I been "trying for awhile" or did I "put it off." I was stunned. Who asks that? Seriously? Did she want the last 5 years of our sexual history? "Well in 2007-2009 I was on the pill then in...." NO! What is it with Mormons being most obnoxious busy bodies imaginable? In the moment I could do nothing but look uncomfortable and say "I'm not really comfortable discussing that" and added in my head, with you, because you're a stranger and it's none of your damn business.
Then another lady at breakfast--out of nowhere brought up Mormon feminism to me, and long story short, I kept my mouth shut to keep the peace even though she was TOTALLY WRONG.
When I got home I tried to escape to the internets, but it was no use because THIS painting is called art even though it has all the subtlety and nuance of professional wrestling.
And finally, before I started writing you friends, I read an article about people being douchebags to women breastfeeding--covered even. And now I'm starving because it's been all of 2 hours since I've eaten. Maybe I just need more food?
Anyway, vote for who should win the award for worst person this weekend?
1. Sour Faced Camp Lady
2. Ms. Nosy as Hell
3. The anti-feminist
4. Jon McNaugton
5. People who are jerks to women who breastfeed
Or...
5. BONUS WRITE-IN CANDIDATE: Anyone in particular you've encountered recently?
I know. It's a tough call.
5 comments:
I'm going to go for the bonus write in. I vote: Olive. I don't know if you're aware of this, but I saw her POOPING! Right in the middle of God's forest. And if that wasn't bad enough, she had the gall to do it way out in the trees away from people to avoid getting caught defiling the campground. As if we wouldn't notice! The nerve.
I'll vote for Ms Nosy because, wow. That takes some nerve.
That women that accused the breastfeeding mom that breastfeeding is sexual and how is she supposed to explain it to her 12 year old daughter?!
Um, your 12 year old daughter better learn what boobs are really for, or she's going to have a lot of problems.
Can I really choose "all of the above."
I think The Sour Faced Camp Lady wins, because she was an in-your-face disapproval of you and your decision to bring your pet, even contemplating sending you home.
Ms. Nosy and Ms. Feminist Flounder seem to be just ignoramuses who don't know the boundaries of polite conversation.
The last two are just opinions that can/should/need to be ignored, nothing more. They're not even funk-worthy. But Sour Camp Lady strikes me as deliberately uncharitable, by invading your space and practically requesting you to go elsewhere. She should have been glad that you were there, and should have made you feel welcome. Sounds like she needs to grow spiritually.
And, in the future, if they don't want doggies at their event, they should make that clear up front BEFORE the event, not when you show up.
I'm going to go with Ms. Nosy, although that's personal bias coming through. Camp Lady is runner-up.
I have to say that I actually kind of love Jon McNaughton, in a train-wreck, My-Immortal-Harry-Potter kind of way. It's just so hilariously awful and ham handed. My favorite part is the (absolutely unnecessary) artist's commentary. Wait, Obama lighting the Constitution on fire was a symbol that he's doing bad stuff to the Constitution? Ohhhh, NOW I get it.
May the rest of your vacation be jerk-free. Have fun in Austin!
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