1. Printables. If you're wondering what a printable is, feel blessed that competitive cuteness has passed you by. Printables vary, but your average printable is an adorable digital image--typically cluttered with no less than 3 font styles, an over-use of grey and yellow, and often dazzled with cheverons and something saccharine sweet. They make sense in certain contexts. In others...well...
Printables that invite your husband on dates. (Would any heterosexual man actually appreciate this?)
Printable love notes (worse than a Hallmark card).
Printable punny gift tags (Soda lighted you're my friend? With soda? Really. How many times must I see that one?).
Printable relief-society messages (that everyone will promptly throw away).
2. Ombre. I see no less than 10 ombre things per day. Ombre layer cakes, Easter eggs, walls. It's a nice effect--I'm not knocking it. You could say I'm "ombre it." HAHA. I'm just annoyed at the pretension and overuse of the word "ombre." GAH. Overnight it happened. Overnight it shall die.
3. Pictures of nearly naked waifs with pseudo inspirational fitness messages. In addition to being extreme body-image bashing, anti-feminist, pro-anorexia, I'm suspicious no one is actually inspired by them. At least not in a way that I see mentally, emotionally, physically or socially productive. Also, since you are my friends, I see the people pinning these really shouldn't be pinning them. It actually hurts my heart when MULTIPLE of my pregnant friends are pinning stuff about losing weight while pregnant or getting a head start on losing the baby weight. Be healthy. Exercise, eat well, sleep enough, thank your body for what it gives you. Don't waste a second even THINKING about trying be these waifs. Okay. Enough seriousness.
4. Foods that try to be Other Foods. Or in other words--foods that aren't true to themselves. Poser foods. I don't know. There's just something about soup described as "Pizza Soup" that is completely unappealing to me. Or "skinny" cupcakes where you replace oil with a can of soda. First--how could that possibly taste good? Second--I promise you that replacing oil with carbonated corn syrup will not reduce the calories. Third--HOW COULD THAT POSSIBLY TASTE GOOD? Maybe I'm a purist. But give me a sensible serving of full fat, full sugar dessert ANY day over low-fat garbage.
5. Complex slow cooker recipes. When I whip out the slow cooker, it's not because I want to spend a ton of effort cooking my food in the least efficient means possible. I want something stupidly easy that I can ignore for hours after a maximum of 7 minutes of prep work. If I have to sautee anything beforehand, you've lost me. If it were up to me, all slow cooker recipes would involve one pot only. Maybe a cutting board.
6. Photographs of Babies in stupid places. Babies are cute. However babies who are shoved into cowboy boots or flower pots for the purposes of a newborn photo op? Not cute.
3 comments:
Oh, man. Agreed.
When did a photo of a snuggling baby & mom become "not enough"?
Those ombre hairstyles look like roots growing out to me.
As women, we all have body image issues anyway, right? At least we can work hard toward something realistic.
Food & pinterest are SO hit or miss. I've gotten some great recipes on there, but man, I've also gotten some garbage recipes.
And all the printables---hahaha. Your commentary kills me.
Um, yeah. I think printables are only acceptable for use when children are involved. See: coloring pages, worksheets, etc.
And if I see one more "Man, I wish I had this body" comment attached to a picture of someone with a quarter of the body fat of Audrey Hepburn, I may throw up.
Speaking of which, soda pop cupcakes? Blech. That makes me wonder if the person who came up with the idea was out of baking soda and thought Diet Coke would be an acceptable substitute.
What drives me insane are the absurdly complex parties/bedroom decor for small children. I see beautiful rooms and I often think "okay picture that with snot on the walls and crayon and kid stuff everywhere. Are you upset? Then just paint the walls a color you like and call it good." I especially hate adorable rooms that clearly cannot have the furniture rearranged without messing up the effect of the wall decals/hanigng pompoms etc. you should be able to move the bed whenever wherever you want without ruining the room. And also, kids like sweets and games. you don't need to theme every darn thing. Make their favorite cake, play their favorite games, but party favors at Target. Perhaps it is for hte best I don't have children, clearly I wouldn't be a loving mother.
Post a Comment